Country Diary of a Lady: 05/06/2014

Well, fingers crossed, it would appear that spring may have finally decided to grace us with it's presence.  Though, there was a dusting of snow yesterday morning.  But today, the skies are blue with fluffy clouds, the air is clear and warm and the frogs are singing LOUD and CLEAR in the low marshy places around camp.  Both the Spring Peepers as well as Northern Leopard frogs (which I had to look up because I didn't know what I was hearing, haha).

I know that I was very quiet the past few months, and the only excuse I can give is the weather was so dismal, and nothing seemed to be changing.  Oh yeah, and I moved! Ha ha!  But now that spring is just around the corner (finally) I feel the old creative juices beginning to flow again.

It only seemed appropriate that I just finished reading "The Secret Garden" by Francis Hodgson Burnett.  The tale of a little girl who is transformed through a garden, more or less.  I love the imagery.  She talks about a haze of green or a green mist (I can't remember which) creeping over the gray bareness of the garden.  I am looking forward to seeing the green mist this year.  Though we do have a lot of evergreens up here in the Northwoods, I long to see the soft fuzz of new leaves.  The maples are budding right now.  I can see them outside the window where I am sitting.  Their little red buds are bumping out all over the branches and twigs.

I am so looking forward to this spring.  I have bought so many different packets of seeds, I don't think that I have enough places to plant them all!  Morning Glories, Nasturtiums, Moon Flowers, Pansies, etc.  I can't wait for the earth to bring forth it's bounty!

I plan to plant the Nasturtiums in our south facing, full sun beds in front of the house, to spill over with their color!  And I have a few small trellises to send the morning glories up in the same beds.  I just enjoy growth.

Country Diary of a Lady: 04/20/2014 Warm April Sonshine

When I first set out to write this blog, I declared that I would chronicle the seasons as well as my life.  And I honestly have failed at the these past few months.  Perhaps because it was the tail end of a particularly harsh winter, it was always cold, and the snow just continued to fall. (In fact, we got a foot last Thursday).

However, today the sun is shining!  The air is warm with the scent of moist earth and the beginnings of new things.  The lilac bushes at the corner of the house are showing buds and the trees feel the change coming too.

And even more than that, it is Easter Sunday.  Resurrection Sunday.  A day of remembrance and celebration.  Of joy and peace.

I have been thinking about this a good deal since the Good Friday service I attended.  The pastor challenged us to take an attitude of Thanksgiving with us and remembrance as we went into this particular weekend.  We wrote out on small pieces of paper our Thanksgiving to the Lord and physically nailed it to the cross.

It was a very powerful moment.  A moment when I could look back and see just how Christ has released me.  How he has freed me!  For many, many years I lived in darkness.  Even knowing him, I had a shadow that I  had refused to let go of.  It was in my heart.  I wasn't ready to forgive.  I was trapped in the story.

But then, the Lord allowed his servant to speak to me at a conference I was at last month.  And I thank the Lord for giving Dr. Rick Marks the gifts and passions that he has.  For through the insight he shared, I was finally able to throw the darkness off!  I learned that I was trapped in a story that my brain had been telling me for years, but that it was not MY story.  It was someone else's story.  And that freed me to finally forgive.  And the lightness that I felt in that moment, the very lifting of my soul, was more than enough.  I can only pray that the essence of that moment was as a delicious perfume to my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Which brings me back to Resurrection Sunday.  I cannot even begin to imagine the pain, the very physical pain that Christ went through.  Last night I read through Matthew, Mark & Luke's account of the Crucifixion, and what really stayed with me.  What was really constant in all three accounts, was Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.

"And going a little father he fell on his face and prayed, saying, 'My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39

"And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you.  Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35

"And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, 'Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me.  Nevertheless, not my will but yours, be done.' and there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.  And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22:41-44

He knew, he knew exactly what he was going to go through and instead of running from it, he turned to his Father for strength.  And he prayed earnestly, yet with the knowledge that his Father knew better and more than him.  There was no other way.

And so this day, as you revel in the sunshine, in the fellowship with family, in the time (as my Family's customs is) of walking out after a wonderful time of communion and fellowship around the table into the freshness of the spring air, I would just remind you.  My friends, my brothers and sisters, Christ died, he was buried and on the third day HE AROSE! He arose to fulfill everything that was written in the scriptures about him, that we may NO LONGER be separated from him.  And so that when God looks at us, he sees only his Beautiful, Perfect & Holy Son.

Today the SON is shining!

HE IS RISEN!  HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Country Diary of a Lady: 02/17/2014

It has been snowing again, today.  At times, it feels like it has been snowing forever.  And at times, it seems as though the snow will never end.  That winter will just go on forever.

It has come to that point in the season, where I have begun to long for the changing of the seasons, the warmth and the wet of spring.  The days when you can smell the changes in the air, the sun warmed dirt, the smell of green things beginning to push their way up through the soil.

That is what we love about spring.  The sense of everything coming alive again.  Though up here, in the Northwoods, they tend to call it “mud season.”

But, that is a ways off.  Tonight I rejoiced in the 17 degrees we were above zero!  And the beauty, the pure and pristine glory that is a fresh fall of snow.  For it blankets the world, it bedecks the tree branches turning them into magical creatures.  Reminds me of Cinderella as her Fairy Godmother turns her ragged dress into a gorgeous ball gown.  There is nothing quite like a pine all gowned in white.

Tonight, as I sit quiet and comfortable in my little blue house, my mind is spinning in circles.  For I have been delving into promising material for my next book.  Russian Folk Tales!  Oh how interesting they are.  Good think I already have a country based off of Russian Culture within my world.  I must decide which tales to focus on though, for they are all so interesting and many of them have a darkness to them that would be very easy to turn into a novel, it provides enough details and good enough villains to set up truly convincing stories.  And that is what I seek, when I look.  And with that little teaser, I shall leave you.  Good night snowy world.  May you wake to the brilliance of sunshine on pristine snow!

Country Diary of a Lady: 02/10/2014

I seem to go through moments when I totally doubt myself.  Don't know what brings this on, maybe the time of year or day or anything.

I made my first ever Lemon Meringue Pie today.  We'll see how it tastes tonight.  But as I was waiting for my egg whites to stiffen for the meringue, I felt so entirely conflicted, and I wasn't sure why.  I guess it's just that I feel like I don't have any plans, that I don't know what is going to happen next, that I feel like I don't know what path I'm on, or even if I'm on a path.

And yet I know God has been taking me down the exact path that he wants me to be on.  Even if I make stupid choices and go down a particular fork that he'd rather I didn't take, he is still there with me ready to help me deal with the darkness that I am bound to encounter.

The point being, while I was making the pie, I was in the moment.  I was mixing the shortening and butter into the flour and salt, working the dough with my bare hands, whisking the lemon mixture in the pan as it thickened, adding the egg yolks to give it the color and richness.  And I loved every moment of it.

Then, almost like the beater in the mixing bowl, as it spun around in it's circles, my mind began to circle.  The whole "What are you doing with your life" type question popping up.

I love to cook, I love to bake, I love growing flowers and embroidering and making costumes and writing and reading and all of these things that makes me who I am.  And yet, I sometimes feel that I am missing something.  That I'm not doing something that I should be.  And then my brain whirls me into the doubts and fears.  And perhaps that is the root of everything.  Fear.

I have been working towards a positive change in my life.  For the first time I am training to run in a 5K race.  I would never have even thought this was something that I wanted to do before.  But now, I almost look forward to my time on the treadmill (It's been too cold to run outside just yet), it's a time to decompress and expel what seems to be a negative energy.  I have found though, in the last two weeks, that someone or something is attempting to keep me from these times.  Mostly they have not succeeded. For which I am thankful.

But I wonder, this thing that I want, to be healthy, to bring down my blood pressure, to be happy, to enjoy life to the fullest, to live each day as if it were a miracle, to see the little every day miracles.  Are these things too far beyond my grasp to reach for?  I doubt it.  And so I keep on trying.  Even if I don't have the slightest clue what I am going to do when my contract expires at the end of the Summer of 2015, even if I have no idea where I am going to be going or who I will be going with.

Either way it will be an adventure, right?  And I know who will be walking alongside of me.  All I have to do is still my mind and listen to the whisper, the one that reminds me of the joy that I felt as I created that pie.  He know what to tell me and where I should go.

Country Diary of a Lady: 02/04/2014

I had lunch today in a greenhouse.  It was beautiful.  While the weather outside has indeed been warming up, the greenhouse presented to me just what I have been aching for at this time of the winter season.  I sat at a small metal table with my lunch and closed my eyes.  I smelled the smell of green, growing things.  Camellias, Orchids, Hyacinths, Daffodils, Crocuses, Amaryllis.  Beautiful small pots bursting with primroses in colors of orange, yellow blue and pink.

I sat for almost two hours.  I had begun reading Shauna Niequist’s book “Cold Tangerines: Celebratng the extraordinary nature of everyday life” and was very reluctant to leave the respite that I had found from winter within the glassed in enclosure.  Thank you Forth Floral, for the brief respite, for the small gift you gave me and for the enormous Amaryllis bulb that I simply am dying to plant right at this very moment!

Have you ever had days where your soul seems to be aching for something, but you don’t quite know how to assuage the ache?  Today the greenhouse provided a little bit of relief from the ache.  But what else helped was that while I was reading Shauna’s poignant words I was listening to the wonder of “The New World Symphony.”

For you see, I have days where nothing soothes my soul as much as classical music.  I simply feel that nothing will soothe the ache in my soul like the strains of Dvorak, the swelling violin of Tchaikovsky or the sweet strains of Stravinky.  I have found it a bit ironic that almost all of my favorite composers are Russians.  

But then I also love Beethoven, and he breaks me out of that mold a little.  My favorite, at the moment, being The Pastorale Symphony, Symphony No. 6.  I can almost close my eyes and see the centaurs, Pegasus and fauns from Disney’s first Fantasia as they danced about to the beautiful music of that symphony.

I also bought my first seed packets today.  But what they are going to be used for I won’t tell you just yet. 

Country Diary of a Lady: February

“This month derives it’s name from the word Februare, to purify, or from Februa, the Roman festival of expiation, which was celebrated through the latter part of this month.

In ordinary years there are 28 days in February but in leap-year 29.

Feast Days Etc.

Feb. 2 Candlemas Day

Feb. 14 Saint Valentine

Feb. 24 Saint Matthias

“February fill dyke be it black or be it white.”

“All the months of the year curse a fair Februeer.”

“If Candlemas Day be fair & bright Winter will have another flight.  But if Candlemas Day be clouds & rain Winter is gone & will not come again.”

“If February bring no rain ‘tis neither good for grass nor grain.”

“In February, if thou hearest thunder, thou shalt see a summer wonder.”

“One month is past, another is begun,

Since merry bells rang out the dying year,

And buds of rarest green began to peer,

As if impatient for a warmer sun;

And though the distant hills are bleak and dun,

The virgin snowdrop, like a lambent fire,

Pierces the cold earth with it’s green-streaked spire

And in dark woods the wandering little one

May find a primrose.” ~Feb. 1^st 1842 Hartley Coleridge

February 3^rd: It says in today’s Chronicle that at Dover a Blackbird’s nest with two eggs has been found, at Edenbridge a Hedge-sparrow’s with four eggs and at Elmstead, A robin’s with five eggs.

February 12^th: I visited the violet wood again today, the Lords and Ladies are quite up above ground now; and the violet roots are sending up little green trumpets of new leaves.  The ground in the woods is covered with tiny seedlings of the Moschatel.

I gathered some Gorse blossom on my way home.

The Elm trees are just braking into blossom and the willows are showing their downy white catkins, - very small as yet.

Excerpted from "The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady" by Edith B. Holden

Country Diary of a Lady: 01/29/2014 Thoughts on my Ivy Plant

There is a lesson, I find, in my ivy.  Silly I know.  Here goes the plant lady again.  But listen, last night I was taking a few pictures of it and noticing the way that it lifts its fronds towards the window in order to get the maximum sunlight.

I know that I for one am very guilty of not reaching out for the nourishment that I need.  In fact, I often hide myself away.  When what I should be doing is reaching out my hands, towards our Heavenly Father.  For he is the one who truly nourishes us.  As sunlight and water nourish my ivy, God nourishes me deep down where I need it the most.

But, why then, am I so reluctant to reach out?  Why do I feel that I must do this thing on my own?  That I am self-sufficient?  When I begin to do this, to act this way, then I become like my poor Stephanotis.  I had this beautiful stephanotis.  Late this summer, into this fall, I was getting these glossy green growth on it.  I even hoped to see it bloom.  But then, it started to wither.  It died.  I don’t know why, other than it was not receiving something that was necessary to its growth and development.  Without that thing that it required, it slowly faded and died.

So, I try to remember to reach out.  To others, yes, but most importantly to the one who loves me even when I’m unlovable.  The one who died to save me.  The one who sees all of my deepest fears and the skeletons that hide in my closets and loves me anyhow.

I am entirely blessed.  I am alive, I love my life, and I love my job.  It is beautiful up here, hidden away in the pines and birches.  So, I reach out my arms towards the Son, as my ivy reaches out its arms towards the Sun.  The giver of nourishment.

Dragonfly Dreams Crafts: Masks! Part 3

Most recently, I've been playing with using sticks instead of ribbons on my masks, in a more Venetian manner, I guess.  Here are the ones that I've done in that fashion.

 "Icy Beauty"

 "The Spirit of Christmas"

 "Tropical Blossoms"

 "Yellow Tea Rose"

 "The Spirit of Fall"

Dragonfly Dreams Crafts: Masks! Part 2

The first mask that I sketched and executed:

 "The Snowy Owl"

Followed by:

 "The Ice Queen"

 "Fall Splendor"

 "The Monarch"

 "Antique Beauty"

 "Cherry Blossom Beauty"

"Rainbow Promise" A gift for a dear friend

 "Gypsy Pirate Rose"

(unfortunately, it doesn't fit when I'm wearing my pirate hat as well...)

 "Bronze Beauty"

Along with the "Bronze Beauty Hair Fascinator"

I've been trying to do some more masculine ones lately.

 So here is "Lightning Strike"

And finally, last but not least...

 "Roots"

Dragonfly Dreams Crafts: Masks! Part 1

On top of enjoying costuming, I like to make pieces of my own.  Last year, I got into making/decorating masks.  Here are some of the masks that I have made.  I hope that you enjoy them!

From the art exhibition I entered last summer, here are my three entries.

 "Spring Queen"

"Enchanted Hour"

And my Honorable Mention...

 "The Spirit of the Forest"