“There comes a time in your life when you have to decide if
you want to be a fool among fools or a fool alone.” ~Dolly Levi “Hello Dolly”
I feel like I live in a state of expectation, but nothing
ever happens to me. I love my job and
where I live (even with this whole Polar Vortex temperature drop). It is so incredibly beautiful here. With the snow and the pine trees with their
branches laden, as though carrying a precious treasure. It looks like Narnia, during the reign of
Jadis, the White Witch. Though right now
I think we would be having statues of ice, rather than stone due to the
incredibly cold temperatures.
I was reminded earlier this winter that while it looks like
Narnia here, Christmas was coming. What
a wonderful reminder of the Lord. Yes,
it is cold and the world lies sleeping beneath its heavy blanket of snow, but
spring returns. And with it new life.
I have a feeling that I could easily become that lady with
too many plants. I walked out onto our
little front porch and began to talk to my Ivy plant. It has been raising its little tendrils
towards the window, trying to get as much sunlight as possible. We both long for warmth and sunshine. For sitting on the porch, surrounded by my
plants, drinking iced tea and reading a good book.
Yesterday got me caught up, and even ahead on my reading
challenge for this year. I plan to read
52 books this year, and so far I’ve gotten through 6. And I’m getting a bunch more from the
library, not to mention the ones that I already own. And somewhere in there, maybe I’ll read both
of the Beatrix Potter biographies that I now own. (Yep, it’s official, I’m a
bit obsessed with Beatrix Potter, and Edith B. Holden…) I guess there is
something about whimsical water color painters/gardeners. Who knows?
In so many ways, I have been feeling really unsettled
lately. I guess I just feel that
everyone around me has a better idea of what they want from life than I
do. I feel like I just sort of skate
along. I do the things I like but, I don’t
have one grand idea of what I want.
Instead, I have about fifty little things I wish I could
accomplish. I look back over the past
and I see the strange, unique journey that God has led me on. I know that he has placed me at different
points so that I can learn. And that I’m in the right place. But I will admit that I wish he would hold
his lantern a little bit higher so that I could see the next few steps in my
path. Because right now, I feel as
though I’m floundering along without a map.
Sort of.
I’ve been struggling with loneliness a bit this year. And maybe that is part of this whole not
knowing where I’m going thing. But I don’t
know. What I do know is that I’d rather
be a fool among fools, than a fool alone.
I should finish editing “Out of the Ashes Rising,” I need to
do it so that I can pursue the next stage of that particular dream. Once I do that, then perhaps I’ll start
editing “The Falconer’s Daughter”. I
haven’t even read through it since I finished the rough draft in November. (Wow, that feels so incredibly far away…) I
know that one will require a lot of work, as well. But if I don’t start working on it, then I’ll
never finish working on it.
And if I
really do want to become a published author, then I need to start getting
serious about the editing process. And
start writing the next book in the Tales of Madedge series, or the next book in
the “Tales of the Phoenix Guard” series, (which the Tales of Madedge is a
companion series to.) I’m still struggling with which story to tell next, and
with “Midnight’s of Madness” I’m struggling with how to do the narration of the
story. And basically, everything thing
else except the broad outline. Perhaps I’ll
have to tackle that one this coming November.
That could give me the push that I need to get moving forward.
And maybe then I need to work on Freya’s
story before I start Eleeri’s. Oh the
joys of authorship… Well, I guess that’s enough rambling for this evening. I should really go to bed, for I have work in
the morning. Then, next Monday, I’ll be
getting into a new project. Helping to
make costumes for Lakeland Area High school’s production of “The Little
Mermaid.” Excited to learn more about theatrical costuming!
No comments:
Post a Comment